


Six Degrees of Separation

by Sselene



Category: Marvel Cinematic Universe, The Avengers (Marvel Movies)
Genre: Drabble Sequence, F/F, Inspired by Music, Light Angst, breaking up, more sad than angst
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-07-14
Updated: 2015-07-14
Packaged: 2018-04-09 07:41:46
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 659
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/4339805
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Sselene/pseuds/Sselene
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>One, you think the worst is a broken heart<br/>What's gonna kill you is the second part<br/>And the third, is when your world splits down the middle<br/>[Six degrees of separation - the Script]</p>
<p>Natasha and Clint broke up because they agreed it was the best thing for the both of them. But when Natasha meets him again, years later, she's not so sure anymore (too bad it's too late).</p>
            </blockquote>





	Six Degrees of Separation

**First, you think the worst is a broken heart**

They break up because they agree it's the best thing to do.

They break up because Clint will be happier with Laura and because Natasha's suffocated by romantic relationships; because Clint wants to go with Shield and because Natasha doesn't think she deserves to be saved; because Clint wants to change and because Natasha doesn't want to follow him.

It hurts, but it's for the best.

It hurts, but Natasha's used to worse things.

It hurts, but she'll get by like she's always gotten by.

It hurts, but she grits her teeth, swallows her heart, keeps going on as always.

 

**What's gonna kill you is the second part**

They send him to kill her; he goes against his boss to save her. They send him to eliminate her; he risks his job (his family) to give her a second chance.

So much time has passed, but still, looking at him, Natasha feels just like when they met, so many years ago, accidental partners in a fucked up mission.

The face in front of her is more grown-up, but those blue eyes have the same brightness, they still make her heart beat faster.

She was so sure she had swallowed all the pain; and yet, here it is again.

 

**And the third, is when your world splits down the middle**

“Agent Barton was compromised,” Coulson says – and nothing matters anymore.

The only objective is to retrieve Clint. To destroy those who dared hurting him, who've been so impudent as to dim the light of those bright eyes, to erase the smile from his face.

Natasha Romanoff has made a lot of mistakes in her life, it's something she can easily admit to herself.  _ Give up _ on Clint is never going to be one of them.

So what if it may be the last thing she does? What if it may destroy Shield? Clint will come back home, safe and sound.

 

**And fourth, you're gonna think that you fixed yourself**

It's curiously enjoyable to meet all together at the Stark Tower. They all have their own home, true, but still, it's nice to be together. It's relaxing in a way Natasha has never really lived in her life, not in a group, at least.

She's always been alone, or only with Clint's company.

And it's… it's the first time she notices she can  _ really  _ enjoy Clint's presence. Looking at him doesn't hurt anymore, his smiles don't twist her stomach in tight knots, the wish to kiss him doesn't burn inside of her.

It's the first time she notices she's okay.

 

**Fifth, you see them out with someone else**

It's been a while since Natasha was at the farm. She always keeps in contact with Laura, of course: calls, video-calls, even postcards. It's different in person.

It's been a while since she's seen how Clint kisses his wife, the deep feelings he has for her, the love for his children, the way tha Barton family just…  _ fits  _ together.

The way Clint seems suddenly  _ whole _ with Laura and their children.

Natasha was sure she'd gotten better, that she'd overcome that stupid pain, that childish love of her that had followed for years.

She was wrong.

She was so fucking wrong,

 

**And the sixth, is when you admit you may have fucked up a little**

“I could have been happy with him.” It's the first time she says it out loud to someone outside herself.

Steve looks at her, doesn't talk.

Natasha laughs.

“No, do… do you want to know the truth? Do you know what really hurts?”

Steve's gaze says yes, he knows; still, he leaves her to say it out loud, to spit out what has suffocated her for so many years.

“I think… _he_ could have been happy with me.” And this is what really hurts, knowing that had she trusted him, trusted herself, trusted them… “We could have been happy _together_.”


End file.
